Review
Title: Bridges
Author: David B. Ostler
Publisher: Greg Kofford Books
Genre: Devotional/Religious
Year Published: 2019
Number of Pages:183
Binding: Paperback
ISBN: 978-1-58958-72-7
Price: $20.95
Reviewed by Douglas Christensen for the Association for Mormon Letters
In the introduction to his book, Bridges, David Ostler is very clear about his audience: “This is about us, not about them.” The “us” refers to lay leaders in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The “them” refers to the other members, especially those who might be teetering in their faith or those that have already retreated. Readers are right to wonder if this is yet another book presenting respectable reasons for members on the bubble to hang in there. In our current moment, with many reading, viewing, and listening options, Bridges adds something new. Rather than a message for those on the margins, Ostler calls upon those in the thick of church service to consider their ways.
One thing Ostler adds is data. As a self-proclaimed data guy, he provides lots of statistics and charts that reflect how much orthodox people know about less orthodox folks, and how much those less orthodox know about themselves. His numbers produce analyses across demographics with particular interest in the disconnect between the Silent Generation and the Boomers versus Gen Xers and Millennials. More centrally, he shows lay leaders of the Church how to talk about delicate topics and culturally or politically sensitive issues. He invites these leaders to build bridges between themselves and their flock, in particular between orthodox believers and people in the margins harboring legitimate fears, concerns, and unfulfilled expectations.
Ostler educates his reader about Fowler’s stages of faith, about the realities of the dark night of the soul, and about learning to genuinely validate people in faith crisis. This education includes an objective list of reasons people question their faith, including institutional transparency about Church history, race relations, LGBTQ and gender role questions, doubts about prophetic leadership and revelation, an imbalance of political conservativism in the Church, mental and emotional health concerns, including issues stemming from different kinds of abuse as well as anxiety, introversion, and imposter syndrome, a syndrome that sometimes occurs because of a culture of perfectionism and people feeling ill-equipped to relate to the scrupulous religious piety of some members. Ostler writes about how people experience alienation when well meaning members “may try to impose [personal] standards and beliefs on others, even in our church meetings. This happens when we police opinions or shut down conversations that are contrary to our own way of believing” (37). Ostler’s response blames no victims. He invites members individually to take personal responsibility for cultural change.
The book has three sections: 1. A Crisis of Faith, 2. Trust, Belonging, and Meaning, and 3. Ministering. Section one examines different versions of the same story: why people leave the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I have listed some of the snags that cause runs in people’s faith, sometimes unraveling the whole cloth. Ostler presents a thorough picture of these problems. He examines carefully the things members do well and things members could improve. His chapters on ministering address ways that leaders can foster a culture of grace and religious humility in wards, stakes, classes and quorums, as well as neighborhoods and larger communities. His illustrations and examples include probing stories and principles of trust, organizational and personal belonging, as well as other descriptive suggestions about the opportunity members have to practice their religion in otherwise compromising situations and contexts.
One of the heartbeats of this book might remind the reader of Immanuel Kant’s “kingdom of ends.” Consistent with Kant’s principle, Ostler urges readers to learn how to treat members of the Church and those of other faiths as ends in and of themselves and not as means to an end. He writes: “Some [people] have slowly lost close friendships after being open and honest about their faith challenges. Even without the fear of repercussions, others may also be hesitant to express their thoughts and feelings out of a worry that the other would rather argue with than listen to them or because they want to protect the listener from information that might unsettle them. . . These individuals probably have many more concerns than those listed here. If we want others to speak to us openly and honestly, we must do our part to relieve their concerns and fears. We can do that by being sincere and caring when talking to people about their thoughts on belief and the Church” (108-109). He then lists helpful ways to talk to people as ends in and of themselves and not as means to ends like conversion, agreement, or increased worthiness.
Another way to frame Ostler’s plea would be in terms of Martin Buber’s I/Thou relationship where we talk to some people in our lives with respectful I/Thou feelings and terminology, while addressing others as “its” or objects. Buber provides early theorizing for what we might now call “othering.” Ostler’s language for consciously and unconsciously harming others because of what he calls “alienating behaviors” get listed as: “Formulating a Response Instead of Listening,” “Preaching and Giving Unwanted Advice,” “Turning the Conversation to Ourselves,” “Labeling,” “Judging,” “Manipulating,” “Knowing When to Stop”; he also proposes some counter habits like “Expressing Empathy,” “Building Positivity,” and “Validating” (111-124).
Ostler believes that one of the keys to sustained participation in church has to do with belonging. He sees the Church’s emphasis on ministering as the perfect tool for helping people feel like they belong. His book is not just a list of the problems and solutions, it is a fully contextualized examination of what sincere ministering looks like. His book is practical and readable. It is accessible and timely. Anyone who reads Bridges in good faith will discover tools and have impressions that can help them become better citizen of any community. If members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints read this book, it will make them more effective leaders and more inspired and inspiring advocates of the Church’s highest ideals. The book has the power to transform the Church culture into a healthier, stronger, and more caring culture.