Stevenson, “He Delivered Even Me, He Will Deliver Even You” (reviewed by Elizabeth W. Roach)

Review
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Title: He Delivered Even Me, He Will Deliver Even You
Author: Misti Stevenson
Publisher: self-published – nothing on book (marketed by Deseret Book)
Genre: spiritual and mental healing, OCD, depression, anxiety, LDS motherhood and family
Year Published: 2015
Number of Pages: 324
Binding: softcover
ISBN-13: 978-0-9894268-0-0
Price: $15.99

Reviewed by Elizabeth W. Roach for the Association for Mormon Letters

The message that comes ringing out of this book, from the cover itself, is that Jesus Christ can and will heal broken hearts, broken spirits, broken bodies. *He Delivered Even Me, He Will Deliver Even You* is a personal account of Misti Stevenson’s lifelong struggle to conquer codependency, OCD, anxiety, depression, and feelings of inadequacy and guilt. Misti is a dancer and professional dance instructor, is ecstatically married to her sweetheart, loves to cook for her five children, keeps journals, and is involved in her church and community. She looks like she has the perfect life on the outside, but in many ways, on the inside she is desperately clinging to sanity as she struggles with a debilitating mental illness. It is her first book and she gives a brutally honest and candid look at life through her eyes as she sought to identify and overcome the vain traditions of her fathers. Through extensive use of her journals, scriptural references and quotes she builds a triumphant story of one woman’s quest for deliverance through the power of Jesus Christ’s Atonement, no matter how long the road or how high the price to be paid. Christ can heal. He does now heal. Stevenson asserts that He will continue to heal all of us who seek His help, no matter what our affliction or trial. She gives a message of hope that she was delivered and that we, too, can realize this glorious joy and freedom that comes from coming out of our personal prisons.

As a memoir, it works. I think her journey is one of faith, hard work, love and hope that could reach thousands and inspire them as they meet their personal challenges, whatever they are. It is evident, as she says many times, that the scriptures and the word of God were her lifelines through darkness, struggle, defeats, setbacks, and carried her through to her ultimate victories. She is a devoted student of the scriptures and the word of God. She is wise to have humbly recorded so many teaching moments in her personal journals so she can now share those insights. Her life’s greatest challenges are not the same as the ones I face. In fact, her story made me think that one man’s paradise is another man’s prison. Some of her difficulties stemmed from too much of her mother’s influence in her life; I, however, cannot remember anything about my mother, not a glimpse, a sound, a smell, not a single memory. On the surface, our stories don’t seem to have much in common, but we both know who is the source of our light and our deliverance, who knows us both and loves us both completely and unconditionally. This book makes the point that it doesn’t matter what background you come from, it matters who you are following and what direction you are climbing.

The author has the elements of a great book here. Her world view is from a Latter-day Saint background, but many people who could heal and draw strength from her experiences would not understand the type or frequency of the LDS references. I am concerned that in its present form, her book would appeal to a very small audience. Her message is more important and bigger than that and can work as life changing-grace for countless people. *The Sound of Music* drew audiences in to benefit from the lives of the Von Trapps and the family was clearly Catholic. *Fiddler on the Roof*presented a Jewish man’s view of the world, but audiences left feeling a part of that world, not estranged from it. It was clear that their faith and relationship to God was paramount in their lives and gave them the courage to face their challenges. I suggest editing it for a wider audience (and maybe releasing the reader-friendly version as an ebook).

One thing I have struggled with during rounds of depression is being able to focus on one important idea. If the healing ideas in the book, like writing down negative thoughts and then answering them, were easy to flip through and find, they could become lifelines to hang on to for readers who find themselves swirling in the black whirlpool of depression. People in need of healing may not be able physically or emotionally to sift through much sand in order to uncover the treasures that are here.

I empathize with the author about how aspects of her upbringing were damaging and the incorrect traditions of her fathers were creating a prison for her. Her parents and grandparents were also raised in stressful and traumatic world conditions by imperfect and flawed people. Her parents and grandparents would have had their lives impacted by the Great Depression, World War II and the cultural tsunamis throughout the sixties. The author was raised in the US as the eighties gave way to the nineties; I remember those years and the cultural emphasis on excess — excess hair, excess makeup, excess jewelry, excess commitments filling up our lives. A quote famous at that time was, “You can never be too rich, too thin, or have too many silk blouses.” My teenage girls can’t believe I spent over an hour on my hair daily before school, just to have it go flat in twenty minutes or less. Those trends were ridiculous and unhealthy and much better left behind. Every generation tries to fix the problems of the preceding generations, and ends up creating new and different challenges to be met by their posterity. Thus we see that no matter how amazing and thorough a parent is, children will still have to have at least some difficulties to build their characters.

I have compassion on each of the generations in this book as I believe most parents are truly trying to do their best for their families as they try to deal with their own problems. Quite honestly, I would be devastated if one of my daughters chose to write a book about her life’s challenges and portray me as the author’s mother was portrayed. As the author herself writes, “Did (my mother) mean to hurt me? Absolutely not…Had she known better, she would have done better.” Many parents feel unequipped or under-equipped to handle some of life’s challenges from time to time. As a mother of older teenagers who are starting on their own lives, I know I have made mistakes and I have prayed countless times for forgiveness and His grace, and even prayed that my kids won’t remember and be negatively impacted by the moments when my weaknesses have been too obvious. My kids will have plenty to discuss in therapy in their thirties about how my choices impacted their lives, but I feel like one of my guiding principles has been to consider what are the best long term choices for my children’s good.

To make her book more approachable and relatable for wider audience, she might consider finding an editor who can help her keep her voice and help her trim the story to make the presentation tighter (…and I am not volunteering!). At times the book feels very much like a long nostalgic stroll down memory lane for her, and I found it very hard to focus and relate to many of the situations discussed in the book. Sometimes her message gets lost in the story telling.

If a list of the scriptures that Stevenson found inspirational were listed at the end of each chapter or in one appendix at the end of the book, they would be easier for readers to find and would be a very helpful resource.

In conclusion, this first book by Misti Stevenson is a testament to the human spirit and its quest for truth and connection. The core message of the book rings true: Christ’s power and Atonement is our only path to true healing so we can move beyond the many diseases and deficits we have in each of our lives. With a few minor adjustments, she could take this from the rehearsal stage of a dance number to a real memorable show stopper that people will be talking about years from now. I have already recommended it to women to read and will continue to do so.

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