Top and Top, “Finding Inner Peace, Lessons Learned from Trying Too Hard” (reviewed by Michael J. Thompson)

Review
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Title: Finding Inner Peace, Lessons Learned from Trying Too Hard
Authors: Brent and Wendy Top
Publisher: Covenant Communications, Inc.
Genre: LDS
Year Published: September 2015
Number of Pages: 112
Binding: Paperback
ISBN: 978-1-68047-655-2
Price: $9.99

Reviewed by Michael J. Thompson for The Association For Mormon Letters

This new volume from the Tops is a new kind of book for LDS readers, aimed toward those who are hurting and who feel they cannot do everything some expect of them. We read here the issues both Brent Top and his wife, Wendy, have dealt with concerning depression resulting from not feeling they have done all that is expected of them by others.

The Tops look at the issues of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, and pit it against so many in the Church who demand Mormon custom rather than gospel truth–those who have added, as the Tops state, requirements for living the gospel in the same way the Pharisees added to what the Savior taught, a practice objected to by the Lord. The Pharisees became so apostate from the truth that they were willing to crucify their own Savior.

Anyone who has suffered from depression ought to read this book and spend some time studying its message. Anyone who has gone less active or left the Church because of all the demands of those who demand Mormon custom be followed will benefit from this volume. The Tops explain it this way: “Many well-meaning Latter-day Saints live the gospel under very strict, self-imposed guidelines. In truth, we are often excessively harsh taskmasters when compared to the gentle, kind, loving, and tender ways of the Lord.”

At first glance, some of the things stated in this book will strike the active, faithful Mormon as wrong. However, once you continue reading this book, you will see how true its message is. One example they offer is that of the Church recommendation that we read our scriptures for one-half hour each day. This is a goal, but it is very true that some just are not ready for that right now, and do what they can do. If we read a verse a day, we are getting closer to the Lord, we are learning. As we grow and progress in the gospel, in faith, in companionship with the Holy Spirit, we will expand what we can do.

Another example is that of prayer, and how we seem expected to pray for long periods of time in order to get answers. The authors state that the intent of your heart is what matters, and some prayers which last forever may get us nowhere, whereas, a prayer which is from the heart, from our soul, but quite short, is more effective than praying just to be heard of oneself, just to make it a long prayer.

Think of the many things expected of us. Large families, tithing, Temple worship, acceptance of any calling given us because we are “never to say no to a calling.” Add to that the perfection with which we are to keep our homes, often neglecting the things of importance, like the love our children need from us, the training they need from us, just the time they need with us. It may be best, from the eternal perspective, to say no to a calling, and give our children or our spouse more of what is necessary to make our family an eternal family, than to listen to all the Mormon folklore and custom, which takes us from the things of importance.

The following is a very meaningful statement in this book, one which is where all Latter-day Saints ought to be in their lives:

“Spirituality is something more than what we do or say. It is what we are at the very core of our being. It may be measured in how closely we resemble Jesus Christ. Mormon tells us that to be like Him when He appears, we must be filled with charity.” (Moroni 7:48)

We need to examine ourselves, see who we really are deep down inside. Are we preparing to be like the Savior when He returns, or are we just going to keep up appearances?

And, what of the “crowning virtue of a spiritual life,” as the Tops call it: “Above all things, clothe yourselves with the bond of charity, as with a mantle, which is the bond of perfectness and peace.” References here are Doctrine and Covenants 88:125 and Colossians 3:14. Many of the references in this book come from the Doctrine and Covenants, revelations given in our modern days to prophets of God, to guide each of us along life’s pathways. In the Church we have always heard “charity never faileth.” This is a strong endorsement of charity towards all.

The Tops bring our Savior into the equation even more, to govern our lives as our example, in the Beatitudes, found in Matthew chapter 5. The love spoken of here “is not just ordinary love but extraordinary, extra-mile love–loving one’s enemies, loving those who don’t love us, loving those who are different from us, loving those who are not easy to love (Matthew 5:38-47), the kind of love that comes only from the pure love of Jesus Christ himself.

To find this charity, rather than living as those who try to dictate to us all we should do (which is found nowhere in the gospel), we should decide if we are going to share in this by “living the letter of the law, which is usually more noticeable to others,” or if we will choose to live “by the Spirit, which is always more pleasing to the Lord.” (Frederic W. Farrar, *The Life of Christ*)

What the Tops are suggesting is that we take a step back to see who and where we are. Are we choosing to run faster than we are able, or are we going to personally, sincerely, honestly, live the gospel as the Savior intended? In making this decision, we are advised to remember the words of President Brigham Young: “The highest inspiration is good sense–the knowing what to do, and how to do it.” The Tops tell us we are not to feel inferior to others because we may not receive, “the more dramatic manifestations that some people do.” We need to be ourselves, progress at our own pace, receive a personal witness of where we are and where we should go, and on which path we are going to get there.

We, as Latter-day Saints, have always been told we have the Holy Spirit as our “constant companion,” if we live properly. This is our gift from our Savior. The Apostle James wrote: “Therefore to him that knoweth [by the Holy Ghost] to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is a sin.” (James 4:17) This means, for us, that as we live the gospel as taught by our Savior, not by custom, we will have the influence of the Holy Ghost such that we can do that which is right, and, if we do not do it, it is a sin to us as we sin against the knowledge given us by the Holy Ghost.

In living this way, the main catalyst to becoming as Christ becomes apparent. The Tops put it this way, and it is so crystal clear how they put it:

“As we become more willing that the Lord’s will be done, He is more willing that our will also be done, because the two are becoming one and we have demonstrated that we would never desire that which is not harmonious with the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Thus we are granted the righteous desires of our hearts.”

If we as “Latter-day Saints” think about this a minute, we see this is the basic gospel teaching of choice, of our agency to act for ourselves, not to be forced or degraded by others into doing what they may feel is right. It is our choice, not their choice, and we need to begin making these choices ourselves again, as these decisions are the pure gospel of our Savior.

A review of this book could tell the entire story and leave nothing for the reader to discern for themselves. However, this is also taking agency from each of us, as we need the choice to discover these things for ourselves, spiritual things, temporal things, and how they are interrelated.

To quote President Brigham Young: “We cannot talk about spiritual things without connecting with them temporal things, neither can we talk about temporal things without connecting spiritual things with them. . . . We, as Latter-day Saints, really expect, look for, and we will not be satisfied with anything short of being governed and controlled by the word of the Lord in all of our acts, both spiritual and temporal. If we do not live for this, we do not live to be one with Christ.”

This sums up this book and what the Tops are trying to express to us: that we are on earth to grow through our own choices, not those mandated by others. These choices all have a foundation upon which to choose. However, the choices include both our everyday decisions in life–the temporal side, and a side where the eternal things are decided–the spiritual side.

In this remember the things we know of the Savior:

1. He often withdrew himself to the wilderness, and prayed. In this way, as we also may do, he rejuvenated himself spiritually and temporally.

2. He loved all people. And our Savior told us to love our neighbor as our selves.

3. He atoned for our sins, showing his pure love for each of us. What love do we show to others?

The message of this book can be summed up perfectly by two verses from the well-known LDS Hymn: “Where Can I Turn For Peace?”

Where can I turn for Peace? Where is my solace when other sources cease to make me whole? When with a wounded heart, anger or malice, I draw myself apart, searching my soul?

He answers perfectly, reaches my reaching, in my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend. Gentle the peace He finds for my beseeching. Constant He is and kind, love without end. (Hymns of the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, page 129. Text: Emma Lou Thayne. Music: Joleen G. Meridith.)

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