Mormon Memoirs Roundup, Fall 2017

There has been a string of memoirs written by Mormon authors published in the last few months. All of them focus on a central trial the author faced or is facing, and all have received strongly positive reviews. The degree to which Mormonism is presented as factoring into the struggle varies with each book. Tom Christofferson, Kari Ferguson, and Tracy McKay all present struggles that are under-discussed or embarrassing to many Mormons, and try to bring greater understanding of the issue to the wider Mormon society. Michael Hicks and Charity Tillemann-Dick certainly reference their Mormon identity, but that identity is less of a central aspect of the story.

Tom Christofferson. That We May Be One: A Gay Mormon’s Perspective on Faith and Family. Deseret Book, October. Blurb: “A happy gay Mormon.” That’s the shorthand I often use to describe myself,” writes Tom Christofferson. “Some of my gay friends–as well as some of my LDS friends–are a little surprised that I think it’s possible to be a gay Mormon.” Christofferson shares perspectives gained from his life’s journey as a gay man who left The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and then returned to it. After having asked to be excommunicated from the faith he was raised in, Tom spent two decades in a loving relationship with a committed partner. But gradually, the love of family, friends, and strangers and the Spirit of the Lord worked on him until he found himself one night sitting in his car in front of the bishop’s house. This book is about the lessons Tom, his family, and his fellow Saints learned while trying to love as God loves. It is about the scope and strength of this circle of love and about how learning the truth of our relationship with God draws us to Him For anyone who has wondered how to keep moving forward in the face of difficult decisions and feelings of ambiguity; for anyone who needs to better understand the redeeming power of our Savior, Jesus Christ; for anyone who seeks to love more fully; this book offers reassurance and testimony of God’s love for all His children.

Julie M. Smith, Times & Seasons. “The book is largely a memoir, with a few sections devoted to spiritual lessons that Tom has learned. The power of the latter sections is such that I hope that even people with minimal interest in LGBTQ issues would read the book. Tom’s journey back to the church is a fascinating one: it involved a ward who welcomed him—and his partner—with open arms. Tom argues against the idea that shunning is somehow necessary to remind gays of the commandments and points out that, when he was ready to return to full activity, he did not have to overcome the additional barriers of bitterness and pride that family or ward ostracism would have created . . . I hope that this book reaches a wide audience; it has the potential to actually move the conversation forwards on LGBTQ issues in the church. It is true that the prose is more workmanlike than transcendent (Christofferson is a businessman, not a professional writer), but this book is truly a gem.”

Gerald S. Argetsinger, Dialouge (forthcoming): “It represents a gigantic leap in the Deseret Book LDS conversation on LGBTQ+ members since the publication of Ty Mansfield’s In Quiet Desperation: Understanding the Challenge of Same-gender Attraction (2004).  Even the use of the descriptor “gay” in place of “same-gender attraction” still raises the hackles of many in the faith. In contrast to Mansfield’s desperate struggle, Tom Christofferson declares, ‘There is nothing intrinsically about who I am that is offensive to God.’ . . . This is the book LGBTQ+ Mormons have been waiting for. It should be required reading for every LDS Church leader. Whether you know it or not, there are LGBTQ+ members in your congregations.  Tom Christofferson has provided an example and a guidebook based on his family’s experiences coupled with scriptures and stories from their Mormon heritage. Together we can all experience the joy with which Tom proclaims, ‘I am a happy gay Mormon. By the power of the Holy Spirit, may the Lord bless you on your journey.’”

Interviews: KUER Radio West, A Thoughtful Faith, Mormon Matters, Mormon News Report.

Kari Ferguson. The OCD Mormon: Finding healing and hope in the midst of anxiety. Cedar Fort, September.  Blurb: Mental illness is not a sin. Getting help shows courage, not weakness. These are just a couple of the messages Kari Ferguson has shared on her popular blog. After years of suffering herself, she’s teaching others to combat the stigmas surrounding mental illness, invite an open gospel dialogue, and keep fighting. Learn how to help yourself and those you love return to faith, service, and advocacy in this much-needed book.

Ashley Mae Hoiland, BCC. “Thanks to a recently acquired kindle and a lot of time nursing a newborn, I’ve read a lot of good books this summer, but none that I’ve recommended, referenced and been touched by more than Kari Ferguson’s new book, The OCD Mormon . . . I do not have OCD, or any mental illness for that matter, and many of the people I’ve recommended the book to don’t either, but that is precisely the power of her writing—this is a book we all need to read if we are going to claim to lift up the hands that hang . . . I simply had never thought about how difficult it is for someone with OCD to sit on a sacrament pew and think about the germs that must be there or that you might be spreading, or to take the sacrament when you worry about whose hands touched the bread and did they wash them and will you get someone sick if you accidentally touch a piece that isn’t the one you pick up? . . . The book is peppered with condensed boxes of Practical Tips and Tools if you have only time to flip through the pages. In reading over things again as I write this review, I find myself re-reading whole chapters, and re-committing myself to be more kind, understanding and gentle with everyone around me.”

Michael Hicks. Do Clouds Rest? Dementiadventures with Mom. Self, September. Blurb: Do Clouds Rest? playfully archives the musings of a mother and son as they spend time together during her final eight months of life with dementia. From Marilyn Thompson’s entry into an assisted living center in Utah to the obituary and eulogy that followed her abrupt death, these anecdotes and reflections by her only child, Michael, reveal her wit and instinct for survival as she gradually realizes that she is literally losing her mind—or at least most of its everyday parts. The woman beneath the surface of her decline emerges in fresh ways, however abbreviated and questioning. The book is short but vivid as the mosaic of daily experiences depicts not only a woman but a reborn and recalibrated relationship.

Julie Nichols, AML: “A gently humorous record of the kinds of misspeaking and mishaps that beset those in cognitive decline . . .  Dementiadventures is a set of fifty-seven numbered notes he kept on post-its, chronicling their conversations and his observations during these visits . . . Dementiadventures adds a local Utah (only peripherally LDS) ingredient to the mix, a more personal and intimate lens to the picture. If you know someone who’s been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or who has another form of dementia associated with age or disease, these books and others like them may not help you feel less sad, but they will no doubt help you feel less alone.”

Keven Barney, BCC. “Back when this was happening in real time, Michael would post short notes about his experiences with his mom and her balky memory on Facebook, which he dubbed “Dementiadventures.” I remember reading many of these short notes as they were originally posted, and found them in turns charming and sometimes a little heartbreaking. Many of his friends enjoyed them and suggested he compile them in a book, and this volume is the result. In this 111-page book there are 57 dementiadventures (each from one to three pages, some as short as a single paragraph), together with some additional material, such as her last diary entry, the obituary he wrote and the talk he gave at her funeral (which is simply beautiful; I’m glad Michael didn’t listen to Elder Packer’s dogma about funeral sermons) . . . The book is in turns funny and charming and sad, but mostly it’s just plain real as it recounts the small interactions between a mother and her only child in the final months of her life. Do yourself a favor and read this book.”

Tracy McKay. The Burning Point: A Memoir of Addiction, Destruction, Love, Parenting, Survival, and Hope. BCC Press, July.

Russell Fox, Goodreads. 4 stars. “Tracy brings her hard story out, hiding nothing, and everyone who reads this story of survival will be blessed by it, I think. Much of it is heart-rendingly sad, but there are great moments of triumph as well, and there’s the occasional laugh-out-loud funny bit as well.  More importantly, her story will inspire you to hang on through the tough times, to pick yourself up with you think you’ve hit bottom . . . Her memoir may not be everyone’s cup of tea–her writing is lyrical, poetic, and introspective, even when straightforward description might serve her narrative better. And the way it jumps around in time, following Tracy’s own freely associating memory, might rub some people wrong. But still, I hope everyone will give this book a chance, because Tracy’s story is a great one, and much worth sharing.”

Kellie, Segullah. “From a literary/wordcraft consideration, there is a thrumming lyrical skeleton under the rolling curves, valleys and scars of McKay’s experiences. Symbols of light, silence and vastness are shared, shrouded and stunningly revealed over the pages, just as we are shown how they appeared over the years of her experiences. The resonance of a revelatory loop is bone deep in places; sinew of sorrow and succinct detail tie threads from a moment with butterflies at the beginning of the book to a pre-dawn closure of another fragile loop in the last few pages, the symmetry of prose and symbolism beautifully crafted . . . The memoir uses different styles exceptionally well, especially considering the timeline is not presented linearly. Excerpts from blog posts begin each chapter, then moving to different years, places and conversations. The first-person narrative is also interspersed with interludes, where the moment is told in third person, which oddly – and beautifully – gives both a compassionate deepness to and momentary reprieve from the deep waters of life McKay was finding herself in . . . As a read guaranteed to singe your assumptions, thump your heart, and wrap an encouraging arm around your scared, uncertain shoulders as you face off against disappointment and life’s unknowns, The Burning Point is a must-read, and stunning besides.”

Howling Frog Books. “First, I want to tell you that this is a truly well-written book.  Tracy McKay can write, people.  Even if you’re not a parenting/tragedy memoir sort of person, take a look at Tracy’s writing, because wow.  It’s not sensationalistic or angry, it’s just honest and insightful and true . . . A few particularly harrowing scenes are written in third person.  And, she also writes some wonderful stuff about her middle child, who has autism, and about his challenges.”

Interviews and feature stories: Mormon News Report, Religion News, LDS Living.

Charity Tillemann-Dick. The Encore: A Memoir in Three Acts. Atria Books, October. An opera singer who received two double lung transplants. Blurb: The remarkable true story of acclaimed opera singer Charity Tillemann-Dick, who received not one but two double lung transplants and went from struggling to draw a single breath to singing at the most prestigious venues in the world. Charity Tillemann-Dick was a vivacious young American soprano studying at the celebrated Franz Liszt Academy of Music in Budapest when she received devastating news: her lungs were failing, her heart was three and a half sizes too big, and she would die within five years. Inexplicably, despite her fatal pulmonary condition, she could still sing. Medical experts advised Charity to abandon her musical dreams, but if her time was running out, she wanted to spend it doing what she loved. In just three years, she endured two double lung transplants. Teetering between life and death, she slowly learned to breathe, walk, talk, eat, and sing again. With new lungs and fierce determination, she eventually fell in love, rebuilt her career, and reclaimed her life. Over a decade after her diagnosis, she has a chart-topping album, performs around the globe, and is a leading voice for organ donation. Weaving Charity’s extraordinary tale of triumph with those of opera’s greatest heroines,The Encore illuminates the indomitable human spirit. It’s the story of confronting devastating challenges with love: the intimate love of a mother for her daughter, a man for a woman, a doctor for her craft, and a singer for her music. Ultimately, grace from God and strangers enabled the work of love to save one young woman’s breath and allowed her to reclaim her life.

Publishers Weekly: “In this inspiring memoir about faith, music, love, and illness, soprano Tillemann-Dick recounts the challenges of living with a disease that compromises her lungs even as she performs on the world stage as a top-selling Billboard classical artist. In 2004, 21-year-old Tillemann-Dick was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension, a devastating disease that, in the absence of a lung transplant, kills nearly 70% of patients within the first five years of diagnosis. Tillemann-Dick transforms her experience into a moving opera. The emergency room becomes an ‘avant-garde production’ of Lucia di Lammermoor with its ‘chorus of beeps and buzzers, all underscored by the percussive expletives of the drunkard on the other side of the curtain.’ Amid the ‘horrific, minimalist score’ of the ICU, Tillemann-Dick recovered from a double lung transplant, fighting to regain her voice and her independence. That first lung transplant failed, and she had her second transplant three years later. Nevertheless, she continued to live her dream life, singing with her transplanted lungs. She notes early on, ‘I’m not afraid of death. I’m afraid of not living the life I’m meant to live.’ This is a moving memoir, and in it Tillemann-Dick shares her life of wonder, opera, and love.”

Kirkus: “Even though there are a lot of characters, they are all sufficiently fleshed out. Tillemann-Dick ably shows the grueling process of trying to get healthy, keeping the tone upbeat while effectively demonstrating the gravity of the situation. As she was healing, she fell in love; while her relationship was far from perfect, it was enduring and necessary to her recovery. As the narrative ends, readers see that the author has achieved the kind of greatness she was seeking: ‘I’ve fallen in love, I’ve gotten very sick, and I’ve worked more than I ever knew was possible … Even the great divas die. But like a timeless melody, true greatness never does.’”

Daniel O, Millennial Star. “One might expect the recipient of two lung transplants to be depressed or pessimistic. But Charity’s deep faith and incredible optimism are what will stick with you long after the book finishes. Throughout her long ordeal, Charity never relinquishes her deeply rooted testimony that there is a loving Heavenly Father and that he is in charge of her life’s direction. For a book written for a secular and primarily non-LDS audience, this book is also remarkably full of Charity’s testimony of the restored gospel. Throughout the book, Charity intersperses moving prayers to her heavenly father, and her belief in the eternal nature of her family. She does this in a wholly natural fashion. She simply cannot help but share the faith that brought her through her illness. One moment stands out in particular. At one of her darkest moments when she had to decide whether to press forward with her second lung transplant, Charity received a Priesthood blessing promising her that she would live. Her willingness to rely on the promises of the Lord were inspiring and deeply faith promoting. For a book on such a serious subject, The Encore is also remarkably funny. I laughed almost constantly. For instance, at point when first in the hospital, Charity describes the guilty pleasure of sneaking a burrito after dieting and avoiding salty foods for months. And you will never look at Diet Sprite the same way after hearing how she longed for it after her first transplant. And her various travails as she prepared for her wedding hit close to home and was hilarious. You will find yourself laughing far more than you expected.”

Feature articles: Washington Post, CNN, Deseret News, NPR Weekend Edition

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.