Milk

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I was in an argument on Twitter recently over milk. Unfortunately, one of the debaters has a private account so the full argument is unavailable for reproduction, but here are a couple highlights:

As you can probably tell, the argument was about which milk is “THE ONE TRUE MILK”—and although some people care for skim or almond or whathaveyou, obvious fact: if their lives consisted of the proper experiences, they too would prefer whole milk. You know, with the vitamin D and everything. God’s milk, if you will. Worth the extra fifty cents a gallon.

Me, I was on the side of almond milk. This is my final rebuttal:

Now, I haven’t skimmed cream in, gosh, probably close to thirty years (how soon we die), so maybe if I returned to such a time such a place such a milk my feelings would be different, but here, today. . . .

The Milk Advisory Board enjoys making commercials about the weird things in nut milks, but carrageenan‘s not that weird, really, and you could always make your own out of just nuts and water if you have a nice enough blender.

I’m surprised by how frequently I’m surprised by people who’ve never even tried plant-based “milks” (stick with nuts and soy though, imho, hemp milk’s adequate but rice milk tastes just about like “water with blue food coloring in it”). I know they cost more and even if you’ll love it the fifth time you might swish it around in your mouth like dishwater the first time.

I would like to promise you you’ll love them.

But I can’t.

I wish I knew before you try whether you will prefer cashew or hazelnut.

But I can’t.

I wish I could invite you over to share shots of all my favorites.

But it’s out of your way.

Besides. Everybody has things they like, things they don’t like. Who am I to claim my likes and dislikes could would should be your own?

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