Review
Title: Confessions of an LDS Sex Researcher
Author: Cameron Staley
Publisher: BCC Press
Genre: Non Fiction
Year Published: 2024
Number of Pages: 332
Binding: Paper
ISBN: 978-1961471047
Price: 12.95
Reviewed by Madison Daniels for the Association for Mormon Letters
Confessions of an LDS Sex Researcher by Cameron Staley is a simple, powerful, and clear-eyed look into the mindset the Christian world would do well to adopt. As stated in the title, Staley is a clinical psychologist who primarily researches sex — and he’s LDS. For many, this would seem a contradiction. Some form of “so he researches how to repress sexuality?” was the response I got from friends when they saw this book sitting on my desk. That Latter-day Saint-ism and healthy sexuality seem contradictory is not lost on Staley. The reason, it seems, that this book is framed as a confession is because Staley obviously feels himself on the edge of two communities that don’t seem to mix well.
The book is a series of confessions that waste no time on subtlety. “I don’t believe in ‘pornography addiction’” is the name of the first chapter and each confessionary chapter cascades from there with titles like “sex labs are boring” and “pornography epidemic or moral hysteria.” Staley’s writing is simple and without guile while also being incredibly bold in its message that we have grossly misunderstood unwanted porn use.
Confessions isn’t necessarily about debunking porn addiction, but it is the book’s intellectual core — Staley’s gateway into talking about his experience as an LDS sex researcher. The predominant paradigm encountered in the world is that unwanted porn use is an addiction. There is a whole purity culture industry that rests on this assumption with money flowing every which way. The only problem is that the addiction model isn’t supported by actual scientific research. And, in fact, believing one is addicted to pornography may actually increase one’s usage and make it more difficult to change behavior.
What is it like to be a card-carrying member of your faith and also professionally produce research that challenges the way your faith tradition pathologizes pornography use? What is it like to be a serious legitimate certified psychologist who often isn’t taken seriously by peers because of their commitment to a religious life? What is it like to work with clients who have been wounded by the stories told by a faith community you still belong to? This is what Confessions is about.
It is a deeply personal book that is as bold and refreshing as it is grounded. That Staley is a trained therapist is obvious in how compassionately he works his way through his confessions. What Staley wants to see in the world is whole and healthy people who have worked through their wounding and feel no shame for being sexual beings. “The antidote to compulsive pornography viewing is connection, compassion, and intimacy.” This message is bold only because this is exactly the opposite of how we’ve “treated” porn use thus far. If I had a dollar for every “Porn Kills Love” shirt I saw while I was a student on BYU campus, I’d be a rich man.
I wish greatly that Confessions had been written twenty years ago when I first hit puberty. I was a very Mormon teenager in the heart of Provo who was convinced he was a sex addict afflicted with spiritual leprosy. I never let myself be too happy or fulfilled because “if only people really knew the real me.” In my mind, I was broken and would likely never be whole again. This story was only reinforced by the messages I was getting in Church from teachers and prophets alike. Porn was a disease and I was sick and would be forever. I wasted so much time hating parts of myself.
What I would have given to have someone confidently and compassionately challenge the stories I was being told. I am hopeful that Staley’s research can begin to work its way into the LDS community and give ground for a simple and compassionate response to unwanted porn use. Maybe then we can stop hating ourselves for being who and what we are and we can start to just live life.
Challenging decades of hurtful and institutionalized paradigms is hard but heroic work. Staley, though, is the perfect messenger because, throughout the book, it is abundantly clear that he loves being a Latter-day Saint. I cannot recommend Confessions of an LDS Sex Researcher highly enough to anyone who grew up in a purity culture that seemed to pathologize hitting puberty and having access to the internet at the same time.