Bailey, “When I Was Red Clay: A Journey of Identity, Healing, And Wonder” (Reviewed by Catherine C. Peterson)

Review
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Title: When I Was Red Clay: A Journey of Identity, Healing, And Wonder
Author: Jonathan T. Bailey
Publisher: Torrey House Press
Genre: Memoir
Year Published: 2022
Number of Pages: 159
Format: Paper, Ebook
ISBN: 978-1948814638
Price: Paper, 16.95; Ebook, 8.99

Reviewed by Catherine C. Peterson for the Association for Mormon Letters

Full of beauty, wonder, conflict, and pathos, Jonathan T. Bailey writes a heartfelt book that is personal, yet universal.  When I Was Red Clay tells stories and teaches truths.  Bailey shares things he’s learned living in his milieu; at times feeling like a misfit in the broader culture, championing respect, and advocating for the natural world.

Having grown up in the small Utah town of Ferron, he tries to make sense of the place where local societal “rules” aren’t consistent with his moral compass. He describes personal challenges as he grapples with his sexual orientation. Throughout his life, he escapes to the desert’s dramatic landscapes where he finds beauty, truth, and healing. He also finds its brutal lessons when he suffers bludgeoning from a serious rockfall.

His descriptions are bountiful with imagery so vibrant the reader can imagine standing in the midst of the places Bailey details.  He explores the canyons of Utah’s San Rafael Swell with his father and word-paints the vista as “its feast of color:  forget-me-not blue, patina red-blue, sea-foam white, and arid yellow–a shade that could only be evoked by desert wildflowers.  And then there was Navajo Sandstone, off-white by definition, but tempted by atmospheric color, like the deep azure of nightfall” (p. 14).

I learned about desert milkweed, female tarantula hawk wasps, dragonflies, prickly pear cacti, and many other desert dwellers. Bailey describes and freely shares Linnaeus’ classifications (i.e., Dalea tentaculoides, palantathere zolecina, etc.) for more curious readers to research.

Interspersed within the text are poignant poems, punctuating the story of Bailey’s journey. One example:

In disability
life is porcelain
I feel its cracks
beneath my fingertips.

And all that’s left
is all I could hold
and my hands
know this fragile truth.

That I hold tight
to what I must
because everything else
will fall apart. (p/ 87)

Because Jonathan Bailey so openly expresses his joys and angst, he endeared himself to me. His great love for the interconnection amongst all of us earth-dwellers, be we plant, animal, or mineral is inspirational.  I believe any reader may find questions and answers that are relatable to each of us who travel this life in the clay of the potter’s hands.