Review
Title: Holding On: Impulses to Leave and Strategies to Stay
Author: S. Michael Wilcox
Publisher: Deseret Book
Genre: Non-Fiction Self Help
Year Published: 2021
Number of Pages: 121
Binding: Paperback
ISBN: 9781629729107
Price: $11.99
Reviewed by Catherine C. Peterson for the Association for Mormon Letters
Holding On: Impulses to Leave and Strategies to Stay, is a book for those of us who have had questions or doubts about gospel topics, church leadership, feelings of disillusionment, or crises of faith. In his book, Michael Wilcox alludes to some of his friends, family members, or even church leaders who have left the church, either slamming the door on membership or stepping away with the door open a crack. His argument to stay in the church is adeptly presented with metaphors, carefully selected scriptures, and literary examples while using an empathetic non-judgmental voice. This book is a quick read, with thought-provoking rationale for staying in the church, even if doubts, uncomfortable paradoxes, or difficult personal situations weigh heavily in one’s soul.
Wilcox uses the metaphor of mountain goats following mountain trails that lead to narrow steep cliffs, which become extremely precarious. They find high-altitude nourishment for the strength and agility they need to move securely, even at the edges of very narrow paths. In life, we travel our unique paths, and our paths of faith sometimes take us to a precarious edge we must navigate until the path widens and we regain sure footing. He writes, “I wish I could say these struggles with faith are all resolved, but I continue from time to time to wrestle with questions and anxieties. Yet … over time my path has widened.” Just holding on and keeping faith in the truths we know allows us to wait for answers and resolutions to things we only have a partial understanding of.
As some struggle with uncomfortable events in church history, the author reminds us that there are “elements of a mortal, ambiguous world, filled with human frailties and weaknesses.” Impulses to leave the church family of Latter-day Saints is nothing new. “Numerous leaders of the early Church followed the impulse to leave, including the Three Witnesses and members of the first Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. Many returned later, but for some the decision became a permanent alienation.” Reasons we may feel impulses to leave have been greatly accelerated by those like Sherem and Korihor, who dissuade people from the gospel. We find individuals who take pleasure in cutting down the faith of others and building a following by sowing doubt and setting themselves up as experts in blogs, podcasts, YouTube, etc. Sin and temptation may also affect our belief. There are also “interrupters to our rejoicings” that “blocks us from feeling the peace and joy of the gospel.”
Balancing a scale serves as another metaphor to keep our impulses to leave and doubts in perspective when weighed against the reasons to stay. Wilcox says, “I … wonder, if perhaps media posts or random online searches are not the best places to obtain knowledge concerning the most important decisions of the soul and eternity. Time and experience and careful thought are needed.” One only needs to look at the beautiful doctrines taught, the striving of goodly Latter-day Saints, the loving service rendered, the rich heritage, the answers to prayers, the worldwide humanitarian involvement, multiple blessings because of the Church to tip the scale to reasons for holding on and waiting upon the Lord for further information.
Celebrating the good and forgiving the rest is presented as a motto in dealing with uncomfortable church issues. The example of a Black sister cited by the author is worth emulating. Regarding the earlier Church policy not allowing Black members to be sealed she said, “It was difficult, but I recognize Brigham Young, those of his generation and following ones saw things through the lens of their culture. The most dominant social-economic, religious, and political issue in American history involves race. It was discrimination! I don’t try to explain it or justify it. I just forgive and move on!” Forgive and move on. “Celebrate the good and forgive all the rest.”
An evil mirror, a metaphor in Hans Christian Anderson’s “The Snow Queen,” shatters into millions of dust particles that get into the eyes of people, causing them to only focus on bad things. We are challenged by Christ to attend to the big beams in our eye and not focus on the mote in another’s. However, sometimes a blinded view of ourselves as being imperfect or not good enough can let “our own weaknesses interrupt our rejoicing in Christ and signal the impulse to leave,” Washing out the “mirror dust” helps us realize the desires in our hearts, and the direction we are going.
“Drawing strength from the chain” can be a great support for one struggling with weighty matters. The family chain and its welding links can also be a source of renewal and serve as an important reason to hold on.
The final chapter, “Center the Essentials,” leads the reader to consider that charity for all, active love, and goodness. Wilcox advises, “Sometimes it is best to lay aside wrestlings, doubts, minute examinations of beliefs, or the people who espouse them and just serve, just love, just forgive, just practice goodness and see it in others.”
Michael Wilcox has ably laid out a convincing case for holding on to the principles of Christ taught in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and having faith in its teachings, weighing them against the unexplained social, doctrinal, or seemingly unfixable personal challenges. This book is a valuable resource to help us have a broader perspective, better understanding how gospel truths prevail, in spite of our doubts.
Excellent scriptural citations and quotes from other writers enhanced the book. I liked the layout and illustrations, too. I would have liked to have read contemporary personal stories of those who “held on” or came back from a spiritual struggle.
I believe most of us have, or will, at some time encounter difficult church-related issues and perhaps have the impulse to leave. Holding On: Impulses to Leave and Strategies to Stay, can be a useful tool for enduring and holding on.